That's What She Said

It's That's What She Said Monday!

[Making Popcorn] 

I feel like it's gonna explode in my face.

That's what she said

[Math Class]

Damn, 7inches!

That's what she said

You better put it in before I get bored.

That's what she said

I don't think I'm doing this right.

That's what she said

He's a fast eater.

That's what she said

Superbowl

I am not going to even waste my breath today with an awesome article. It is the superbowl today. I will miss out on all the action since I work until 11. Who are you rooting for today?

Enjoy the game. Don't forget tomorrow is, That's what she said Monday!

Gulity Pleasures

                Everyone has one thing they absolutely love, but some people hate to admit. Whether people admit it or not, we all have some sort of guilty pleasure in life. Guilty pleasures can be hidden or some people embrace their uniqueness. 

                This may not sound that weird, but my guilty pleasure is Mexican music. It can be tejano music, to more popular singers like Selena. Not Selena Gomez, but the original Selena. I love everything about it, the beat, lyrics, and atmosphere that it gravitates.

                When I mention how much I love Mexican music I get one strange look. I guess white girls can’t love something from another culture. 

                I know this isn’t the biggest guilty pleasure, but it’s something I just love so much, and people give me the weirdest look. I know grown straight men that love to sing, “It’s raining men”. To save them from embarrassment I won’t mention names.

                Is anyone willing to admit a guilty pleasure? Most people will just say, “well, I don’t really have one”.  I say embrace yourself, and admit your guilty pleasures. 

A battle a woman can't win

I recently just lost my husband to the ultimate battle. He is addicted to Call of Duty: Black Ops. I am the one to blame; I bought him it for Christmas.

                I knew I didn’t stand a chance. How could any women have a fair chance with something that turns any man into a special ops solider? I could stand in front of the tv trying to seduce, him and all he’d say is “my death to kill ratio is going down because of you”.

                My husband can go on for hours playing this game. I bought a 42” plasma not to watch movies in amazing color, but to watch him play video games. Listening to bitch about “campers” and “switchers” is so much better then House Hunters International.

                After much resistance to the one thing that made me feel like a widow, I tried to play C.O.D. My husband makes it look much easier than it really is. All you have to do is aim, and shot, right? Wrong. Playing as a team is key, but along with that you have to know how to read a map, something I somehow lack. There is one yellow triangle representing you, but no matter how hard I try, I somehow get lost.

                Like so many things in life, my marriage is a compromise. Either sit watching him play, or play with him.  I can proudly say I played an online match, and made zero kills, but a million deaths. Practice makes perfect I guess.

                If you can’t beat them, join them. Except when it comes to smoking crack. That’s definitely not a time not to join in. When it comes to playing C.O.D I have to learn to enjoy it more. I did just pay to get Xbox live, and don’t want to waste my money.

                All and all, video games aren’t really that bad. Mario definitely rocks, but C.O.D is way ahead of my old school gaming ways

Valentine's Day Is Right Around The Corner

You’ve just been shot with an arrow; Cupid’s arrow that is. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and many people are scrambling to figure out the perfect gift for that special someone.

                Hopefully you know a little bit about that special someone; you are kind of dating, or at least “special friends”.  Flowers and candy are the safe bet, but why not surprise that one true love with something from the heart.

                What says you care more about them then decorative pillows? According to other Valentine’s Day articles, decorative pillows would be an excellent gift for a woman.

Sounds like a great gift for a lonely woman with no one to cuddle with at home. I had a body pillow once I just loved, but then again I was single. Body pillows are a great thing to have if you’re the only one in the bed.

                On another list of Valentine’s Day gifts, Multi-heart boxers for that man in your life. I want to know who thought that would be a good gift for guy.  Heart boxers don’t top my husband’s Valentine’s wish list.

                The internet is full of gift ideas for Valentine’s Day, and most of which will likely end up in the back of the closet. Steak knives to your mother don’t sound like the brightest idea, if she doesn’t like them she has one sharp object to throw at you.

                If you’re really that stumped on what to get someone, a simple meal of their favorite food with a romantic touch should do the trick. Or do some sneaky research, and make something more personal for your Valentine.

In all honesty Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be about giving someone a useless gift, but just letting them know you love and care for them. It’s the little things in life that count.

Salad Fingers

The mere sound of finger nails on a chalkboard can send some people jumping up from their seat in agony. Goosebumps can overwhelm you. Salad fingers does exactly that.

For some of you this may be old news, but some people have never watched Salad fingers, and this blows my mind. Few words can fully describe it. Imagine this green being with salad fingers, and a creepy British accent. Doesn’t sound interesting enough? Watch one episode and you’ll be sucked in the morbid, yet alluring world.

I wanna know what inspired David Firth. I could never come up with a twisted tale of a guy with salad fingers, and a fetish for rust. The more you watch the episodes, the creepier it seems to get.

If that did creep you out a little bit, I don't know what will. To catch more episodes and other works by David Firth head on over to http://www.fat-pie.com/

Good luck trying to sleep tonight. When you are almost falling asleep you'll hear his creepy voice.

When Shit Hits The Fan

You just found out that all over the United States the value of prices of food just hit its highest in 30 years. There is pandemonium all over the world. Governments are being over thrown and people are being killed. Is it a cause for you an American Citizen to worry? I say no.

          
Every day the human species are faced with the catastrophic possibilities that shit may indeed hit the fan. Saying that it won’t is like saying I will never catch a cold, ever!

We all know there is impending doom on the horizon and that it is not a matter of when but what. I for instance like to think it may be zombies, while the gentlemen I work with believes it will be government control and directly after that civilization meltdown.              

Many times we turn on the television or the computer and see headlines based on terror and confusion someplace in the world. We hear the many reasons why our economy is in peril, and who may or may not be to blame. This political party hates this political party and so on.

When shit hits the fan, the number one thing you have to remember is keeping a level head is being prepared. No matter the size of the gun or how tough you are start making decisions based on fear and you won’t survive your first day?

 Humans are extremely adaptable beings and we can overcome almost anything. We aren’t as weak as people believe us to be.

I know what you may be thinking; when things go south I need to be prepared with all the latest gear I can find. Well media would love to make you thinks so.

How many businesses out there use fear to sell products? The internet is littered with high priced gear and kits you can buy to stay alive. A home Survival kit can go any were from $26 to over $300. How the hell are you going to carry $300 worth of food water and equipment?

Does it really have to be that complicated? Listed below are some simple, common sense ways to survive.

Quick Survival Tips:

o   Water Bottles and Twine make an easy way to boil water if you need to.

o   A Quick and Reliable Filter can be made Easily out of peddles, sand, charred wood shavings and a can or bottle. To find out how click http://www.wilderness-survival-skills.com/how-to-make-a-water-filter.html

o   A Good Knife, A compass, A flint, A whistle, A water bottle and a sound mind are the best tools you can take camping with you.

o   If it moves you can probably eat it (arachnids excluded).

o   Carry at least $300 on you, whether money matters or not. Some people will always try to hold on to the idea that the Government will rebuild and cash will hold value later on.

Bear Grills and Less Stroud are among the many survival experts that show it is possible to survive in just about any climate with very little. With things listed in the quick survival tips,  someone can face the elements, and survive.

There are plenty of articles online on sites such as discovery.com or theSurvivalblog.net that could help you out. If you go to Google and type survival you can pretty much get all the information you need. Youtube.com and ExpertVillage.com are perfect places to find information and how to videos regarding survival.

 Remember When Shit Hits The Fan logical thinking doesn’t have to either


Written by Guest Writer: Tony Starkey